Blogs are like model trains

Just like the title states-

You either love them or hate them. Well, maybe not hate but have little to no interest because the rest of life is so much more interesting. To the model railroader though, it is a love affair that cannot be explained. Perhaps it's the escape or imaginary teleportation into the fantasy realm. To them it can be like pornography or drugs to another. It is an addiction. One that makes one feel in control of a vast empire. A little bit of "all of the above" for me. Especially the feeling of being in control, or should I say illusion. Most of life things are out of or beyond our control. Model railroading gives me that little hope of actually being in charge. But it's much more than that even. My trigger has to do with losses. All my life I have been put in spots where somehow I lose. Not small losses mind you. From sports to jobs to family and on and on. Some to personal to mention even. One hit after the next. I have my own PTSD to deal with daily regarding loss. It is no joke, it's a real thing.

Model trains is my focused medium. It is my art and passion when I can break away from the real world. The real world sucks you into its endless black hole. It's mind numbing until you die...the final loss.

Anyways, there is no way to make up enough wind to cover the losses so trains hits the gap. I realize that perception is reality and I have to disengage from it to enjoy. But, please for the sake of everyone's safety, allow a person their escape so they can function normal in this unreal real world.

Hidden for Years...

This is something I didn't know about, it was a well kept secret apparently. Amazing collection! Wonder what has happened to it now?

Posted by Aurora Trains on Sunday, June 28, 2015

Abandon Tracks

Time...

It is the ultimate four letter word. Not the four letter words that parents would wash kids mouths out with soap type of word. No, no, no, far worse a word. One that issues the death warrant on the living,the word that brings finality, totality and reality with impunity.

It is the trident of the universe, this word time. We are always subject to its unrelenting pressure. Always behind it or/and borrowing trouble with it in future preparation of it. Appointments, dates, calendars and clocks a constant reminder that your to much to little or to late. 

And it is there, at the point of realizing that we are all abandon tracks to time. That train that has left behind the remnant of what once was.

So now, all grown up, unfortunately... Writing the regrets of what could have been. Time was not so kind. It did not tell me to stay 12 years old. In fact, it pushed me to be 16 then 18 the 21 then...a blur. It convinced me at every birthday candle that one more would somehow be better with more opportunity and closer to my dreams. No,... Time in its truth lied, always promising and inch closer to my desires and dreams while reality crumbled around me slowly without me noticing. 

Then time shoved it all at once in my face like the roaring lion devouring the unexpecting prey. Friends around me passing away,and the years taking its toll on the body one Atom at a time each and every day, week, month and year.

Here we are, looking through the lense dimly at what is left... To young to die and way to old to accel. And even if a last spurt of energy were to befall me, to what end...? To much to little to late... All I would say is..."it's about time"  not really caring anymore at the cruelty of it all.

The early passions of light grown dimmer towards the end of the track line, where nothing matters as much any more....

Western Pacific N scale

Not Just for Kids...

So the whole thing starts with Tyco, evolves from John Allen's gorre and Daphetid, then .... well who knows from now to future what. The whole idea that a model train can and will influence a lifestyle to the "n-th" degree is amazing to me. You are here so you know what I am talking about. Catch up on past posts if you don't... I can stare at this photo again and again and every time can be like the very first time. How do you explain it? What did he do? Did he make the soul exchanging deal with the devil? I have seen a lot of layouts over the years, but his layout, his alone does something that stirs, glues and pastes my eyeballs into the dark trance of imaginary land. Every single time! Lets explore that later shall we?... Anyways, the fanatic FB pages first header was this very JPG and it drew all the sheep in for the slaughter... So here we are.